Bikinis tends to fall off of Brit model Sophie Howard as easily as .. (insert everyday inanimate object that would obviously fall off another everyday inanimate object making this sentence seem witty)
Says everyone. Again, private photo belonging to Vanessa Hudgens (High School Musical) have leaked on the internets. These are the racier ones depicting what girls do when the boys are not around... at least not when this guy was a boy. Not exactly “private” photos but what would have been a private night out, say 15 years ago, of former Trading Spaces host Paige Davis caught having fun at night club pretending to be a stripper. If it weren’t for the fact that everyone and their pet has a camera of some sort, this unintended widespread seen scene would have remained between Paige and the nightclub patrons stuffing cash into her lacey sheer thong.
Seems no man is immune to making that unconscious glance at a full bouquet of breast on display. Even fellow ladies can’t help but take a gander when faced with such an obvious sign for attention. Of course, the etiquette is to make that glance quick. No lingering. Especially when attempting a conversation. Otherwise, you’re considered a disrespectful perv. Seems unfair at times to test a man that way. They often fail. Perhaps, men should turn the game around and start displaying some sack fold to see if the ladies could resist such an irresistible sight. I imagine just a lot of pointing and laughing and perhaps, a lawsuit or two. The following ladies tempting an unconscious gawk are an recognizable Ashlee Simpson, Argentina’s Carolina-Pampita Ardohain, 24’s Elisha Cuthbert, TV’s Maria Menounos, the new Bionic Woman Michelle Ryan, Shoot ‘Em Up’s Monica Bellucci, Canada’s Natasha Henstridge, Ice-T’s Nicole-Coco-Austin, American Idol’s Paula Abdul, supermodel Petra Nemcova and Germany’s Verona Pooth.
She’s the dark beauty from Italy (like so many of them are) in her 2008 calendar of which we’ve seen glimpses of over the past few months with those behind the scenes shots. Here’s the final result...
The aforementioned lady showing the backstage action during the making of her 2008 calendar... plus, some extras that have yet to make it into her BoB Nudography until now.
Rumours of Natalie Portman appearing nude in her new movie Hotel Chevalier has been all the buzz among nude celeb gossip hounds and even the mainstream media. Although, what IS the mainstream media now? Who cares? We're here to show you Natalie nude in a film which she always claimed she would never do. Everyone's entitled to change their minds but why is it the ones who always protest the most who end up caving or doing the exact opposite of what they preach? Hello, Senator Craig.
Caps of Laila Robbins, Lana Antonova, Lara Alexandra, Lara Belmont, Lara Clancy, Lara Clifton, Lara Phillips, Lara Rhodes, Larisa Tipikina, Larissa Ely, Laura Albert, Laura Boera, Laura Bottrell, Laura Christensen, Laura Dern, Laura Gemser, Laura Harring, Laura Harris, Laura Ilica, Laura Johnson, Laura Jones, Laura Linney, Laura Malmivaara, Laura Osswald, Laura Prepon, Laura Ramos, Laura San-Giacomo, Laurel Parmet, Laurel Wiley, Laurence Kertekian, Lauren Hays, Lauren Hutton, Lauren Pellegrino, Laurie Baranyay, Laurie Wallace.
The new calendar season is upon us and we start off with Bulgarian model Ginka Lazarova who appears to have been born during the Bush Senior Presidency. Does that seem weird to anyone else?
Germany’s Alexandra Polzin, Heroes’ Ali Larter, alcohol’s Amy Winehouse, Gran Hermano’s Belen Rodriguez, Miss Australia 2006 Erin Mcnaught, PeTA’s naked spokeswoman Imogen Bailey, pop music weird family’s Janet Jackson, on a very special Blossom Jenna Von-Oy, Aflecks’ Jennifer Garner, a colourized Jessica Biel, Page 3’s Jodie Marsh, BlueNude appearing Julie K. Smith, plus sized model Kate Dillion, a pregnant Laetitia Casta, a different spelling Leticia Cline, Germany’s Nadine Arents, supermodel Natalie Uher, former Lara Croft mascot Nell McAndrew, South America’s Nicole Neumann, manufactured pop music’s Nicole Scherzinger, manufactured celebrity’s Paris Hilton, France’s Paz Vega, Japan’s Sora Aoi, America’s Summer Altice, and Hell’s Vikki Blows.
Many, including us, have made the mistake of calling an Aussie a Brit and vice versa. It’s funny considering they’re two countries thousands of miles apart. In fact on exact opposite sides of the Earth. The confusion often lies with their mutually funny sounding accents. However, thanks to Australian Emily Scott and Britain’s Lucy Pinder we can now tell the difference by just looking at them. Instead of lumping Australians and the British into one group we can now separate tell them apart based on these two models. The Brits are naturally busty brunettes with a flat bum whereas the Aussie’s are bosom enhanced blondes with a round bum. It’s a simply trick to avoid sounding like an ignorant jerk-off.
Despite the prior evidence from around 2003 where photos from this shoot showed Eva in a sheer little number showing all but nipples underneath making one think that she was a nippleless freak of nature. Of course, anyone who doesn’t fling their own poo would know that it was just some Photoshop trickster who airbrushed out her God given nipples out of existence. For all the poo flingers who couldn’t figure that out, here’s the outtakes from that shoot of which were never touched by some conservative publication whose agenda is to make the world believe that women do not have nipples.
Argentines That Put The A In a Word That Starts With A
Apple? No. Antelope? Nope. Astronomy? Sounds closer. Mmm, what word starting with A do these models put the A into? If only there was word for bum that started with A. Not being able to figure this out is making me like an ass. Meanwhile, here’s Agustina Attias, Belen Francese, Cinthia Fernandez (aka Abbey Diaz), Debora Bello, Jessica Cirio, Karina Jelinek, Melina Pitra and Ximena Capristo.
The current batch of celebrities of all levels of fame to be stalked by the paparazzi to be later gawked at by internetters include the Penelope Cruz’s identical twin cousin, Spain’s Dafne Fernandez, UK Reality star Danielle Lloyd, Sassy Porter aka DJ Sassy who we presume is a DJ who thinks herself a bit sassy, various shots from the past of Canada’s Lost star Evangeline Lilly, still supermodel Helena Christensen, Oscar winner and former Karate Kid Hilary Swank, Brit TV’s Jennifer Ellison giving her bikini top a workout, Jessica Biel making a tank top a skirt combo the sexiest outfit ever, former Grey’s Anatomy Dr. Addison Montgomery Kate Walsh, England’s busty Kerry Katona, Italy’s Luisa Ranieri getting felt up by what can old assume to be a very wealthy old man, Italy’s Manuela Arcuri, Penelope’s sister Monica Cruz, the only Pussycat Doll worth mentioning Nicole Scherzinger, Italy’s Nina Moric and Canada’s export Pamela Anderson.
Being Canadian, I certainly don’t understand why the US government continues to have such a hate on for Cuba. True, Cuba is run by an unelected mad man but then again, it’s better than being run by an unelected dumb man. Actually, neither option seems pleasant. What is pleasant is Cuban born Mayra Veronica. Of course, putting a finger on to the exact reason she’s famous is difficult. Apparently, she’s an accomplished stage actress and has been known to be a presenter on TV shows and other events. She says she hasn’t felt the need to pose completely nude... yet. What exactly makes someone “feel the need” to pose completely nude anyway? She only seems a thread of cloth away anyway. So what’s the tipping point for her to get that feeling of need?
Model Viola Pirtniece says that she realizes this modeling gig won’t last forever and so she is studying art. In school. Wow. Art is definitely the steady job to have as your backup plan. She actually sounds like she was born to be a rocket scientist.
A variety of celebrities either exposing themselves in public by accident or on purpose along with some very close calls including Germany’s Alexandra Klim getting a heavy draft up the skirt, Christina Ricci showing the two things that reside on her breast: a butterfly and a nipple, Germany’s Davorka Tovilo tempting fate with dress made only of stringed beads, Ben Afleck’s Jennifer Garner having what must be a in depth a conversation with Ashlee Simpson with a leering paparazzo in prime position, TV’s Laura Leighton mooning, and SAG president Melissa Gilbert just begging for a joke involving “sag.”
Thought we’d stop by South America and various countries, primarily Argentina, to see what’s going on in their female celebrity world. Mmm... Not bad. Not bad. Keep it up.
Rapper Ice T’s wife Nicole “Coco” Austin is so ridiculously curvy you don’t know whether you want to runaway screaming like a little girly boy or to just dive right in and hope for the best. Obviously, Ice T ain’t no girly boy and just went for it.
That’s as complicated and witty as we’re going to get when referring to UK’s Nikkala Stott. Our brains hurt trying to come up with something more insightful right now. Girl pretty. Make happy.
Why is it that two hot sisters can get naked together and so many go all gaga over it and not be creeped out by the fact that THEY ARE SISTERS?! As in related to each other. Is that not somewhat incestuous? Just asking. Here are twins Stefania and Victoria Xipolitakis (of Argentina) who are capitalizing on that somewhat strange fantasy... when you actually think about it with your head and not your little head.
More Celebrity Private Parts Attacked By Bikinis (Members Bonus)
Swarms of bikinis continue to attack celebrities and their private parts this summer at an unprecedented rate. Such attacks are attracting other scavengers. Specifically, the paparazzi, who rely on the bikini infested celebrities in order eat and/or survive their shallow existences. In turn, the paparazzi’s byproduct, the titillating bikini photos, can often help nourish the celebrities’ career. And so the cycle continues... with Hilary swank, Gwen Stefani, Kate Beckinsale, Jennifer Ellison, Jenny McCarthy among others.
She would be an Italian actress who was born waaay back in 1980 whose filmography is quickly growing. Most of her earlier work was on Italian TV. Most notably as a regular cast member on the series “Orgoglio” which, like so many Italian words, sounds like a type of pasta.
Entourage’s Emmanuelle Chirqui, Oscar winner Gwyneth Paltrow, The L Word’s Jessica Capshaw, NYPD Blue’s Kim Delaney, Dynasty’s Linda Evans, Rehab Clinic’s Lindsay Lohan, House’s Lisa Edelstein, Saints & Sinners’ Maria Conchita Alonso, pop music’s Mariah Carey, Star Trek’s Marina Sirtis, The Love Guru’s Meagan Good, The OC’s Mischa Barton, runway’s Naomi Campbell, Italy’s Ornella Muti, Grindhouse’s Rose McGowan, music’s Sheryl Crow and Wayne’s World’s Tia Carrere all decided that going commando under thin (often black) material was a good idea to keep the paparazzi away. They might want to rethink their strategy.
Helena Christensen goes beyond proving that point. I don’t know what the exact age you stop seeing a top model doing high profile gigs but it seems 30 is about the age these moron fashion editors stop hiring them because good god, they don’t look like a 14 year old anymore! Morons. Did I already use moron? How about idiots? Or how about short sighted shallow condescending art snobs who’s obsession with young girls borders on sick? Enough about those guys (and gals.) Instead, let’s wonder at the amazing genetics that this supermodel turned photographer turned beautiful thirtysomething has been gifted with. Although, a second thought as to why models retire so early may be that their minds grow up to match their looks and they realize what an effed up industry they work in and get out before it eats them alive. It’s probably a little bit of both but unfortunately, more of the former.
Yes, “threeers” is now a word because I said it. If you use a word enough times, Webster’s Dictionary will put it in their next edition making it a real word. Try these ones out: Jakkilicious or Pinderrific or Rhiantastic. Use them enough times and you may see them in next year’s dictionary with pictures that look something like these ones next to them.
Bikinis Continue To Latch On To Celebrity Private Parts (Members Bonus)
Swarms of bikinis continue to attack celebrities and their private parts this summer at an unprecedented rate. Such attacks are attracting other scavengers. Specifically, the paparazzi, who rely on the bikini infested celebrities in order eat and/or survive their shallow existences. In turn, the paparazzi’s byproduct, the titillating bikini photos, can often help nourish the celebrities’ career. And so the cycle continues... with Jennifer Aniston surfing and showing her infamous bum being attacked by an almost thong while Pamela Anderson fights off a black bikini and Kate Moss manages to completely free her top half from any potential bikini.
There was a time when Laetitia was the “it girl” to this website’s creator and like so many other phases in one’s life, they end and a new phase begins. (The new phase being that there are too many women in the world to have one favourite.) Laetitia also has shifted into a new phase going from modeling to acting – what a shocker. However, instead of playing surface characters meant only to tantalize the eyes like a lot of ex-model actresses, she’s choosing roles more akin to other European actresses where, yeah, they may be the object of someone’s desire (often a funny looking old European man) but the desire seems to be on a slightly deeper level and presented in a more real way. The result is a far more erotic film than most US made films which attempt to use an ex-model actress. The French (and Italians) are good at those kinds of movies. Here’s Laetitia in the movie “Le Grand appartement” which we only guess is one of those cool little movies.
South Carolina native Mary-Louise Parker in the television series "Angels in America" (6 episodes, 2003), 'Let the Devil Wear Black (1999)' and some others.
The above statement is true. Unlike the statement we’ve all been brainwashed with since we were wee young ones: “Milk Does a Body Good.” We could digress into our whole milk conspiracy theory but why get into that when we have something much more important to report: the spotting of Eva Longoria and her asstastic body in a wee bikini. So put down that glass of milk and take a look at something that is much healthier.
Elite model slash Italian beauty Elena Santarelli did a really sexy calendar for the 2006th year and now shots from that fine shoot are being recycled by appearing as what someone with lesser knowledge would see as brand new. Magazines have a tendency to do this. Some, um, websites tend to do the same. Consider it being kind to Earth. It certainly doesn’t hurt the eyes either to have a second gander at this lovely lady in these updated scans. (Note, some of these behind the scenes photos re actually new to the site.)
Sweater Cows Voted Favourite Breast Euphemism (Members Bonus)
Of course, this was a poll involving one participant, me, but nevertheless, “sweater cows” will probably garner a chuckle or two from more than one person. Especially, the British crowd who seem to have more euphemisms for breasts than the Inuit have words for snow. They are both comical and sexy at the same time. Breasts. Not the Inuit. Mind you, I’m sure there are some comical and sexy Eskimos some where up there in the North. However, we’re not really meant to be talking about the Northern indigenous people of Canada. We’re actually trying to, and awkwardly so, talk about the models that inhabit the United Kingdom who, at most times, are famous for their upper lady lumps aka sweater cows. (We of course are being ironic with our objectifying and sexist terms. We also realize that we keep referring to ourselves in the third person and in the first person at the same time. I’m working on stopping that.)
Apparently, this is a big deal. Vanessa is the star of the Disney Channel movie “High School Musical” which is also apparently a big deal. We’re not sure when teen based musicals became cool. It seems everything from boy bands to designer clothes to choreographed and overly contrived dancing - which are cool to today’s teens - were actually lame and deservedly mocked by any one with an ounce of wisdom when The D-Man was a teen. Mind you, D was unaware of his mullet’s non-coolness which just goes to prove that teens are stupid on the most part. Ironically, they believe themselves to be smarter than everyone else. So with that, we have a generation of young people working in Hollywood who think taking nude photos of themselves will actually remain private. Vanessa admitted to the media that this nude photo of her circling the webbernet is in fact her. This kind of sucks for her and anyone else who can’t keep private matters private. However, at the same time, when are celebs going to realize in this age of technology along with all the swarming vultures of celebrity media who won’t let a celebrity breathe without telling the whole world that there’s a huge risk in taking nude photos of your famous self? Hell, D is a nobody and he showers with his boxers on just to be safe.
Sometimes the photography is interesting enough or the model is beautiful enough to out weigh the importance of the identity of the personality being photographed. These are fine examples of such an occurrence happening...
Even amongst the genetic freaks known as fashion models, there is a wide range of beauty. Well, not as a wide of a beauty spectrum as say going from Margret Thatcher to Adriana Lima because that scale nearly covers the entire population of the Earth. No, the fashion model range of beauty is a little more subtle than that as you will see in this mish-mash of models.
Aussie Jacinda Barrett (School for Scoundrels (2006), Poseidon (2006),Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004), Ladder 49 (2004) here nude in 'The Human Stain (2003)'
It’s Spain’s ex-Miss Cantabria Angela Bustillo along with Argentina’s Emilia Attias and originally Brazil’s but now the World’s Gisele Bundchen who is reportedly the highest paid supermodel these days. We finish off with Miss Spain 2000 runner-up Natalia Robres.
Malene appears to be part of a gaggle of UK Third Page models who came just before the crop that consisted of the Lucy Pinders, Michelle Marshs, Nikkala Stotts, etc. She sports a look reminiscent of the 80s and early 90s despite being a model of the 2000s. Perhaps, like American movies releasing later in Britain, so do the hair dos. Or maybe we just can’t help but see a blond model with big boobs and not think 80s. We also get help but wonder why these photographers (or maybe it’s the publishers) who can’t veer away from these boring three-quarter shots.
Ali Macgraw, Ashley Judd, Danielle Harris, Dina Meyer, Elizabeth McGovern, Farrah Fawcett, Heather Wahlquist, Holly Hunter, Jacinda Barrett, Joanna Cassidy, Joan Severance, Julie Delpy, Kate Winslet, Keira Knightley, Kelly Craig, Kelly Preston, Lena Headey, Lolita Davidovich, Madeline Stowe, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Melissa Glbert, Molly Sims, Morgan Brown, Muriel Baumeister, Natasha Henstridge, Penelope-Ann Miller, Rosalyn Sanchez, Sable, Sienna Miller, Sondra Locke and a couple of hotties with a real ugly guy in the movie '300'.
Argentina’s Daniela Cardone best known for being an international fitness model (whatever the heck that is.) Former Miss Spain 1996 Maria Jose-Suarez is like many other former misses and went on to host a number of TV shows in her homeland. While the U S and A’s Tera Patrick is intimately known to many lonely men ranging from married CEOs to guy’s living in their Mom’s basement. Then there’s Germany’s Thessa Gierer who has a talent for being naked.
That’s French for The Super Clara Morgane Members Bonus. We like to think ourselves a bit fancy for being able to ad “la” or “le” to the beginning of any sentence and instantly become fluent in French. That’s the basic mechanics of French isn’t it? We think this collection of the French adult star Clara Morgane a bit fancy as well... or should we say la fancy? And la sexy. Man, we’re good at speaking la French.
An Aussie, the original and only Pampita, a British TV presenter slash host, a lady with good lungs, an ever so cute model from South America, a German sprinter, a Brisbane native who likes to partake in some poker, and lastly another Argentine lass.
Or maybe not. One would think that all of these sexy ads are targeting the male consumer to hawk their junk but if you look closer, most of these ads are selling products made for women. Seems strange and futile but it must work because otherwise they wouldn’t do it. It must be the old con of “if you use our product, you’ll look just like this uncommonly beautiful model.” It’s amazing and kind of sad to think women buy that shit but apparently enough of them do to support these multimillion corporations. Us men just find the ads compelling for the pure photographic artistry. Yeah, that’s it.
It reminds of a time way back when a little known pop star decided to get dirty which coincidentally (we say with a wink) took place just in time for the release of her new album. Talk about teasing the cock to hawk her music. It worked with the help of this photo shoot which we found in the most complete form with variations of similar images just to bring you back to 2003. Man, the 00s have been weird in the mainstream music world.
We’re always in favour of a great photograph featuring a great model over a ho-hum photograph with a great model. It’s true that sometimes it only takes a pretty face to make a picture great. However, it’s always a treat to see a great photographer make the basic of subjects look amazing. Not that any of these models are dogs but the pictures are certainly enhanced by the creator of the image.
Visually studying the art of covering one’s privates for the camera. Some use a hand and others may use both hands. While others may use a limb such as an arm or a leg to strategically cover the FCC hating parts of the body. In some instances, one will get creative and use a foreign object to obscure. This could be a scarf, a clam shell, a puppy dog or the fig leaf made famous by the Christians. Sometimes it’s as simple as contorting the body away from the camera just ever so slightly.
On Big Brother and Off With The Clothes (Members Bonus)
Along with all the other ladies found here (Amy Alexandra, Imogen Thomas, etc.) Kate Lawler was a Big Brother UK contestant and so as the cycle always goes, they must do a nude or close to nude photo shoot to stretch out their 15 minutes of fame. For Kate, apparently her true passion is being a DJ. Not to offend all the truly talented DJs out there but does it not seem that any Joe Blow that likes music but has no musical talent of their own always seem to want to be a DJ? Their thought is that “I’m good at making my friends mix tapes so I must be destined to be a hardcore DJ.” Man, we’re such assholes when it comes to music some times. Sorry for that.
