Sometimes the best fashion is no fashion. That only sounds deep because there is contradiction in that there sentence. Another way to say that but in a much less deep way would be to say that “naked chicks are awesome.” Especially, when there’s some effort put into photographing them and the chicks themselves know how to move. Such is the case when a fashion photographer and a fashion model get together. Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. We’re still talking about naked chicks and there’s a good chance that’s all what most of you are really looking for. Just note: your base instinct may be to just spot some boobie or bum bum but just imagine how boring that boobie or bum bum would be without that pretty little colourful flower next to it. Are we in the presence of a blown mind? You’re welcome.
With song titles like “What R U Waiting 4”, “Spin The Bottle” and “I Touch Myself” there’s a good chance pop singer Tiffani Wood might have sex on the brain... but what musician doesn’t? What human doesn’t? Maybe my mom. That’s right. Shut up about my mom! Anyway, Miss Wood here who is now actually Mrs. Cummins... wow... she even legally changed her name to stay with the sex theme. So it’s no surprise she posed rather naked for the great Australian publication B W which is known for great pictorials of its famous country folk in the buff. Nice spread. That’s the name of her next single.
A gathering of actresses whose roles in film have called for a bit of extra skin to be shown all in the name of capitalism... I mean, art. Including Big Love’s Amanda Seyfried, Anna Friel, Anna Hutchinson, Bai Ling, Catherine Bach, Catherine Deneuve, Catherine McCormack, Claire Forlani, Courtney Gibbs, Cynthia Gibb, Debra Winger, Eliza Dushku, Emmanuelle Seigner, Jennifer Connelly, Joanna Page, Julianne Moore, Kate French, Kate Winslet, Laura Linney, Lauren Graham, Mia Kirshner, Milla Jovovich, Piper Perabo, Sadie Frost, Saffron Burrows, Sally Field, Shannon Tweed, Sienna Miller, Tilda Swinton and Winona Ryder to name a lot.
So it would appear that a Bulgarian underwear company put on the most honest beauty contest ever. The contestants aren’t judged by their generic plans for world peace which is just a formality in most of these asinine beauty contests to cover the fact that it’s actually based on objectification. Sloggi takes it one step further and bases it on one object; the ass. Yes, they’re looking for the “Most Beautiful Bottom in the World” (both female and male) to put into their underoos and move product. (Too many double entendres there to get into.) The whole thing is really smart marketing. Here’s 2007’s female winner 19 year old Bulgarian Kristina Dimitrova who snagged $10,000 Euros and a modeling contract for her perfect patootie.
Humpables? Ok D-Man, there you go making up words again just to accomplish some silly and lazy alliteration. Sad. Meanwhile, the following mixture of ladies that a few of you may find worthy of humping include but are not limited to Britain’s Boobiest Babes: Eva Wrywal, Lindsey Stutt, Rhian Sugden, Katie-Marie Cork, Sammy Braddy, Leah Francis, plus Amanda Harrington, Annalise Braakensiek, Beyonce Knowles, Carla Gugino, Carmen Electra, Christina Milian, Cintia Dicker, Deanne Berry, Dorismar , Emmanuelle Chriqui, Evangelina Anderson, Gina Gershon, Gisele Bundchen, Helena Christensen, Imogen Gray, Isabeli Fontana, Jessica Cirio, Kari Wuhrer, Kate Moss, Kate Walsh, Kelly Andrews, Lindsay Lohan, Louise Cliffe, Louise Porter, Lucy Briggs, Melita Toniolo, Mini Anden, Regina King, Rhian Sugden, Roxanne McKee, Sabrina Salerno, Sam Cooke, Shanna Click, Victoria Beckham, Yuliya Mayarchuk and many, many more.
Colombia’s Carla Giraldo, Brazil’s Ellen Cardoso, Italy’s Micol Ronchi and Bulgaria’s Zlata Raikova all of whom have evidence that in one point in their respective lives have posed in front of professional cameras wearing nothing but their exposed lady parts which can be seen in the following...
It’s hard to believe that most of the amazing beauties coming out of Eastern Europe right now hitting the internet with their commie nakedness were born AFTER the cold war, or at least shortly before it ended. It seems like only yesterday that the bad guys in all the spy/action movies all had generic Russian sounding accents. Instead, these girls grew up with the bad guys having generic middle-Eastern accents. Hollywood is so creative with their racial profiling. (That’s sarcasm for those who lack the ability to spot irony.) So now it would seem that these countries are now paralyzing the west with exotic beauties instead of the thought of annihilation. Perhaps, the West should try this tactic too. Oh yeah, they tried with exporting Baywatch. Did that create world peace? Well, the Germans do love their Hoff now. On another note: I’m a high school drop-out. So my history knowledge, geography and English skills are why this blurb fails miserably.
Doutzen Kroes has become familiar to supermodel fans for, well, being super good looking but that super good lookingness was brought to our attention in no so small part to Victoria’s Secret. However, as nice it is to these supermodels in their underoos, it’s even better and dare I say more artistically awesome when these high profile models continue doing editorial work in which they keep their artistic integrity by taking off their clothes once in a while. Doutzen’s one of those models with great integrity. Yay for us.
I’ve only seen a few “Made In Italy” films but those few combined with the number of still images I’ve seen from Italian film, like the following, I can safely say I’m a fan. Although, as erotic as a lot of these films can be (or at least in moments) there does seem to be a trend of odd looking old men groping really attractive women. Or young boys groping, with curiosity, older but really attractive women. It looks like the 20 to 30 year old man studs go ignored which is actually rather refreshing from the usual Hollywood standards. It gives us boy-looking old men who like to grope some hope.
The following photo editorial titled “Nesting Instinct” starring fashion models Patricia Schmid, Tiiu Kuik and Sydonie Herrera is both provocative and educational. In photography terms, it’s well executed but in proving “a theory every inexperienced and sex starved male has” terms, it shows that yes; when girls/women/ladies get together amongst themselves, they are in a constant state of naked. I always knew that’s what us men do together when alone, because I am one, but it’s nice to know now that women too enjoy their girlfriends’ company in undress. Us guys will tell you, it’s a blast. Right, guys? Guys?
How us pale dry winter people envy the likes of Brazilian model Danielle Souza and her golden skin which looks to not lack an ounce of moisture. If only my bikini line looked that good. I’d be showing if off to the world too. Instead, I’ll just keep my pants on to keep the skin flakes from getting all over the place. Jesus D-Man, why would you talk about such gross things when introducing a very NOT gross naked lady? Probably because things are so dry these day, my brain is flaking too.
...a number of fashion models in an artsy fartsyish collection of photos. Usually to be classified as editorial there should be a number of photos which tell a story. Well, think of this collection as highlights from a number of editorial sets which feature actual nudity seeing that the demand for nipple is at an all-time high.
Ladies whose craft is the art of acting who use the tool of nudity to create their masterpieces. Was that last sentence not the biggest load of crap you’ve ever heard? Or was it the best load of crap you’ve ever heard? Either way, here’s more of the Nude In Film series this time featuring names that start with the letter P.
After a week, we finally got our new hard drives mounted to allow for more celebrity goodness. We also found that some evil doing numbnuts amongst our advertisers was sending out a virus to a few of our precious viewers – all apologies. Hence, no ads for the time being until we find suitable sponsors. Besides, I’m not sure this is the site to recruit new male escorts. So to get back on track, here’s a hodge podge collection of celebrities who showed up on the internets in the past week wearing little to nothing.
Whilst we were fixing the store, the paparazzi were in the usual opportunistic form capturing a peak while Naomi Watts adjusted here robe while on set. Naomi looks waaay better doing this than when The D-Man caught his uncle doing the same. Picture a bag of fruit. Actually, don’t. Instead, just see check out the other celebs being normal people in their normal lives...
The now annual tradition of swimsuit (super)models using their naked bodies as the canvas for some very talented artists is here again. Like the rest of the issue, the stunning absence of Marisa Miller adoring herself in bodypaint will be missed but the four ladies they painted this year hold their own. Mind you, it seems for the hours they invested in painting these women, you’d think the photographers could have gotten a bigger variety of angles. You know, so we can see more of that amazing art. Just as a note SI, feel free or in fact, make it law to get Bar in to some paint next year. If Leo feels left out, let him do it too. He’s kinda cute.
There have been rumours that cover girl Bar Refaeli’s manfriend Leo Dicaprio was somehow using his powerful status as a sexy acting man with talent to lobby for Bar getting this year’s career boosting SI cover. It’s a stupid rumour simply for the fact that Bar clearly deserves it no matter who her boytoy or soulmate (or somewhere in between) is. She apparently got bumped from last year’s cover because she leaked the secret that she was on it before the unveiling. It instead went to Marisa Miller of course, who also deserved it base on her own talent of being really really good-looking even though I was her boyfriend at the time and was calling SI hundreds of times a day saying that my girlfriend Marisa Miller should be on the cover.
This year’s crop of beach attire sporting models is dominated by a lot of rookies and the vets they feature are not among the top names of previous years. That’s just my initial observation which might be slightly inaccurate. As long as my quickly formed opinions don’t sound as ignorantly retarted as Glen Beck or Bill O’Reilly’s, then I don’t mind being a bit wrong sometimes. Also featured are a few tennis players and the return of speedy little road-rager Danica Patrick. So peruse this compilation of the sheer, strategically nude and yummy bummy shots from you know where from you know who and for the rest of the shots (and even video,) go you know where. Just as an editorial - to separate from all the hard facts I usually share – I find the behind the scenes shots are often more interesting and even sometimes sexier than the final selects. Maybe it’s just my attraction to unshaven 40something men in flip flops who carry around big equipment.
As great the SI swimsuit issue is, it’s still a sports mag. They don’t really push the envelope in artistry or push the edge of so-called decency by showing that evil creation Mother Nature and God keep fighting about; the female nipple. Sure, they might show a hint of the Devil spawned but secretly human adored nipple but it’s fair to say again, they’re still a magazine for sports. So we can hardly blame them for keeping things innocuous and mediocre. Here we have the more edgy style of model photography that you will see in fashion magazines and alike which sports fans only secretly look at when no one else is in the Doctor’s waiting room or when the wife’s magazines are the only ones in the bathroom when taking a half hour bowel movement. (I swore to myself I wouldn’t make any potty talk today. I’m weak.) Anyway, along with some safe swimsuit shots from 2008, we have a collection of great examples of what I’d like to see more of in terms of nude photography in the mainstream. I’d also like to see more Radiohead and less Jonas Brothers at The Grammys but who am I to think they should award talent and substance when they prefer to tend to the tastes of 10 year old girls?
This is how lame we can be sometimes. We’ve run out of space, as mentioned over there on the right, and so we managed to install two bigantic hard drives over the weekend but the catch is that they have to be mounted. The only thing I have ever mounted was my tricycle when I was 6 years old. So we’re awaiting a helping hand to mount our new drives and then we have to move a whole whack of nude celebrity content onto the newly mounted (and I suspect) smiling drives. All this not so sexy mounting is apparently happening soon. So until then, here are a number of naked and naked-ish nymphs of the famous-ish nature who span the globe with their celebrity and who are responsible for edging our hard drives to the rim.
Ladies of cinema slash movies slash film slash talkies slash motion pictures slash flicks slash silver screen slash celluloid slash big screen and sometimes television slash boob tube slash box slash TV slash small screen slash cable slash reason to live.
The D-Man is making some tweaks to the site and it’s packed to the brim server over the next handful of days. So D has to focus on that instead of putting silly words together to go along with some naked lady pictures. Instead, here are just the pictures. It may be hard to understand these photos without D’s in depth commentary but he believes you’re a smart audience and will figure things out.
Actresses in cinema in little to no clothing in the following visual study in which their names begin with either O, I and V... in bed. (Seems that whole “in bed” game doesn’t always work.)
Another cute slash sexy moment with British model Seren Gibson. This time she expresses herself with more than just her nakedness but with her art. He art being her nakedness. What she’s doing with a bunch of paint and drawing devices; I have no idea. I’m just focusing on her art/nakedness thing I mentioned earlier.
Oh Lilly, with your boy bashing pop songs, your topless holidays, your talks of taking one in the back with another in the front bum at the same time, and of course, your third nipple, what will you do next? Oh, show off the bottom of your bottom on stage? Oh, how subversive of you. You really need to open up and let your inner you out and share it with the peoples. Despite the frothing sarcasm, I actually dig Lilly because she seems harmlessly silly without being a vacant pop drone. However, her silliness is close to getting a bit silly. Along with Lilly’s latest antics, here are some other females frolicking on stage (or at the beach) showing that being shy doesn’t get you anywhere in showbiz. Unless of course, you have talent. What does that mean Mr. D-Man? I’ll tell you later kids.
So it looks like I’m one of those guys that Natalie Portman talks about in interviews when asked about why she doesn’t do nude scenes; in that she doesn’t want those weirdoes on the internet posting her naked pictures. In the real world, I’ve never been considered a weirdo, but on the online, well, isn’t everyone a bit odd when they get on the internets? No? Just me? Oh, ok. Sorry Natalie for being a weirdo and posting widescreen stills from your movie “Closer” where you’re a stripper who doesn’t take her clothes off. God, I’m so weird for showing pictures of a pretty actress from one of her films to a bunch of other weird people who want to see them.
Starting off our travels, we head to Colombia to find Andrea Rincon followed by a quick jaunt over to Argentina to check on natives Belen Gimenez and Camila Velazco. Brazil is another quick trip to find the sun kissed Ellen Cardoso. We then go over the Atlantic to Italy where model Erika Marcato does her naked modeling thing. Strapping ourselves into our time machines, we fly to mid 1980s France to find Florence Guerin and then jump back to modern South American to see Ivana Brodowsky and Julieta Gomez do the naked thing together. While still in the present but back over the Atlantic, we see that English nude model turned TV host turned nude model again Jo Guest hasn’t really lost it. Then Mariana Diarco and Monica Farro bring us back to the Southern continent of America followed by another time warp but this time to Sweden in the 1970s to see Tina Lund. We cap off by seeing if the modern Greek’s have put their clothes on yet and based on Victoria Karyda, they have not.
