Despite it being the last day of March, unseen Two Thousand Nine calendars continue to surface on to the ‘netscape and the latest one of that sort features the very lovely UKer Amii Grove. It’s a fairly standard calendar with the standard topless shots of what at first glance seems to be a fairly standard blond glamour model. However, Amii is actually quite a stunner in every aspect a model or woman can be. Maybe I’m just swayed by the set double of Is in her name. Two Is? You’d have to be a crazy hot babe to think you could get away with that. Or maybe her parents were just illiterate.
The icons of the fashion world in various forms of undress captured by the highest of the high-end photographers. Some familiar names but not limited to are Bridget Hall, Christina Kruse, Cindy Crawford, Cintia Dicker, Daria Werbowy, Kate Moss, Lara Stone, Lydia Hearst, Missy Rayder, Nadja Auermann, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Tyra Banks.
Or maybe I just don’t have the brain power today to use blows or load(ed) in a witty enough manner to still be polite. So let’s just say Vikki Blows is a pretty young woman who can be seen here topless for your viewing pleasure.
The Ukraine’s Anna Nedopekina, China’s Bai Ling, Italy’s Cristina De Pin, England’s Danni Wells, Hungary’s Dora Torok, the uncharacteristically sticky sweet Ukrainian Elena Filonova, Poland’s Magdalena Godlewska, also from the Ukraine Maria Moozichko and Olesia Sapronyuk, finishing with Italy’s Roberta Giarrusso.
It’s hard to believe that there was a time in history when women weren’t allowed to play in any major sports. I did not know this. Why didn’t the women in my life teach me this history? Oh yeah, they were too busy making my dinner. Zing! I kid women, and have to say that I am joking because, well, they have no sense of humour. Zing Zing! I apologize. I’m actually of the generation where sexism is nearly non-existent which was helped by the fact that I was brought up with strong females in my life. So there really isn’t a sexist bone in my body. The only bone in me is a large fleshy stiff one. Zing Zing Zing! Wait.
So the British have this thing where they claim to have invented the English language and yet, speak it incorrectly. They think pants are underwear, chip butties are food (actually, quite delicious but not food) and that a massage is a MAH-sage. Do they SAH-sauge? I kid the Brits. I mean, look at us Canadians; we call dollars Loonies, we think poutine is food and we don’t call it a massage but call it the waste of time before the happy ending. Actually, that last one isn’t uniquely Canadian, it’s a worldwide phenomenon.
Actresses sporting little are but not limited to Alexis Butler, Diane Lane, Elizabeth Hurley, Eliza Dushku, Eva Mendes, Ginnifer Goodwin, Jennifer O'Dell, Kate Winslet, Kathleen Turner, Kristanna Loken, Lena Headey, Maria Bello, Michelle Williams, Moira Kelly, Monica Bellucci, Paz De La Huerta, Penelope Cruz, Sally Kellerman, Sharon Stone, Suzanne Somers, Taryn Manning, Ursula Andress and Virginia Madsen.
It appears the economy is so bad down in The States that their b-class celebrities are going down to Mexico for the posing naked jobs. Carmen, I don’t know how much you follow international financial news but the economy is doing ‘ok’ up here in Canada. Nice backdrops. Talented photographers. I’m just sayin’...
A healthy gathering of fashion models ranging from the very super (new Cindy Crawford nude and foamy, Heidi Klum and Carre Otis in upgraded images) to the newer faces (SI’s Cintia Dicker, Eniko Mihalik) that may be, one day, become super too.
Of course, we don’t mean actual shit. There’s nothing sexy about poo. That’s right. I’m coming out of the closet to confirm that I’m not into fecal porn. Never have. Never will. We, of course, are saying that the following is “Sexy as Hell.” Actually, why didn’t we just say that in the first place? And why are we talking in the first and third person in the same paragraph? Probably because the following has us all flustered. Yes, they are that sexy. (Too much build up D-Man. Play it down.) Well, these photos are ok, I guess.
Those darn celebrities do the darndest attention getting things. Between wearing transparent blouses (Kylie Bax), faking candid poses for the paparazzi (Jennifer Ellison, Shauna Sand) and sticking your barely clothed bum at your tone-deaf audience (Lady Gaga) I don’t know if I should stare or give them a hug.
It would appear that Lucy Pinder has taken over from Keeley Hazel as Top Boobie Brit Babe. Keeley has all but disappeared while Lucy is everywhere right now. It’s not exactly a dilemma that should keep you up night but just an observation on my part. I tend to be a bit of an observer. It’s a lot easier than actually doing anything.
Sometimes all it takes to have a pretty picture is to have a pretty girl in it. However, if you really want to impress, have a pretty girl in a pretty damn good photo. With the invention of the digital camera and a generation of narcissistic young women with few qualms about getting naked, the world (wide web) has been flooded with so-called “artistic” nude photography most of which is, for lack of a better word, crap. Sure, the intertwit has allowed some great artists to come to the forefront to a mass public but it has also saturated an art that is so run down in cliché and bad aesthetics already. So that it makes it even more special to find the following seven photos. So take a gander and see how the photograph on its own is strong and then see that having a pretty naked woman there is icing on an already tasty cake.
In this vintage collection, you may just find the same naked ladies that you found in the back of your Dad’s closet. If you found them in your Mom’s closet, good chance you found her sexuality in there too. However, no kid wants to find their Mom’s sexuality anywhere and we certainly don’t want to talk about our Moms any further. Get of our heads Mom! Sheesh. (Sheesh being the word teens use to express their disgust with their parents when they’re trying have some alone time with Dad’s soft porn collection.)
More Greek girls of the famous and attractive nature which includes actresses, models and any other occupation that may or may not qualify themselves as celebrities. Their consonant heavy names are Anni Zisidou, Axia Andreadaki, Christina Miliou, Ioanna Lili, Irene Karra, Maria Louisa Vourou, Marianta Pieridi, Maxi Nakou, Mina Iordanidou, Nadia Zagli, Natali Thanou, Niki Kartzona, Oksi, Olga Politi, Patricia Millik, Pinelopi Anastasopoulou, Sissy Giannakopoulou, Stella Kapezanou, Stella Vlastou and Vivi Tsiami.
A visual study of the wide spectrum of celebrity that inhabits our modern world which as a whole stretches both our patience and tolerance of the famous while at the same time making us whore out our own lives to give them the attention they so desperately crave. What the fuck did I just say?
Actresses shedding their wardrobes for scenes in film, television and other moving picture formats. Featuring Amy Smart (Mirrors), Angelina Jolie (Hackers, Taking Lives, Fox Fire, Gia) Jo-Beth Williams (Kramer vs Kramer, Teachers), Judy Reyes (of Scrubs fame), Juliette Binoche (The English Patient, Breaking and Entering), Katee Sackhoff (of Battlestar Galactica fame), Saffron Burrows (The Guitar), Shari Shattuck (Dead On), Susan Sarandon (White Palace) and Suzanne Somers (Magnum Force).
The latest collection of fashion model images to hit the interweb including extended versions of Angela Lindvall’s appearance in Purple from last year and the portrait series from Black White (2003) featuring a whole gamut of supermodels some of which we know and have in their rightful places in the archives (Miranda Kerr, Pania Rose, etc.) but a lot of these new shots to us are unidentifiable as of this moment but worth the peak nonetheless.
Along with Pussycat Doll front woman (who also plays the role as the only non-trannie looking member of the “band”) in what would be described as seethru shots. (Seethru: lazy typers’ version of see-through.) Seems some have been grumbling about the size of Nicole’s lady buttons as being too large. These are the same people who bitch about their water being too wet or that puppies are too cute. Carrying on, we have a large, but just large enough collection of other recent and past Oops moments involving women of the celebrity variety.
More models of fashion and superness doing what could be described as the mailroom of the supermodel world: runway work. Sure, it might be slightly more glamorous than the mailroom but it is true that it’s the place you spend the most time when you’re trying to get your foot in the door of your potential supermodel career.
We first go down south while dodging the gun fire in Mexico to visit Barbara Mori to see if she knows how to get the world to wake up and legalize all drugs for the sake of the kids and the rest of us. We then act like we don’t have a phobia of Romanian pop-singing twins who are into S & M so we have a chance to survive the phenomenon knowns as the Cheeky Girls. We then go to Brazil thinking Buenos Aires is in that country only to find that our ignorance cost us from meeting up with Argentinean Claudia Albertario. Seeing that it’s a quick 6000 miles, we go to London, England to check out actress Colette Brown, to quickly turn around and go back to North America’s basement, Mexico to see a naked Cynthia Klitbo in cowboy get-up. Then we decide we need to stop travelling in alphabetical order of these lady’s names if we’re going to have any chance of making this farce seem realistic but instead, we go back to London to see SI supermodel Gerda Marie Mare and then, retardedly, we go back to South American for Ivanna Palliotti, and then we ass-haul to Greece for a visit with Natali Thanou and then to France for reality star Nathalie and then to Australia for that country’s So You Think You Can Dance finalist Penny Higgs and then finally, back to Brazil for Sabrina Sato where we decide to stay for a while especially to see her great nudes in her BoB Nudography...
A gathering of bikini clad celebrities summed up in the catchy hybrid word: celebrikini. (Featured: Alessia Mancini, Amy Winehouse, AnnaLynne McCord, Belen Rodriguez, Dayana Mendoza, Doutzen Kroes, Eva Herzigova, Jenny McCarthy, Katie Green, Kelly Brook, Lady GaGa, Lily Allen, Linda Prester, Mariah Carey, Naike Rivelli and Victoria Silvstedt.)
Warning: the following material may have you involuntarily sputtering every cliché in the book when referring to a woman’s ample backside and while doing so, you may find yourself suffering whiplash, slap-happy hand and the onset of humming-that-ridiculous-unsubtle-Black-Eyed-Peas-song-about-ass.
Along with busty broads, as seen in plenty in the following visual study, the Brits love themselves some dry humour, with a u. As do I, with an i. So I’m going to take this opportunity to post the following tidbit of British born comedy in video form to go along with this breast heavy collection of England’s finest simply because I can, and SHOULD for that matter. Oh, those Brits.
Included in this huge hodgepodge of cinematic (and televisiomatic) celebrity nudity, we have stills from Watchmen featuring Canadian raised actress Malin Akerman’s nude scene with an owl who we must assume is an asshole because, as a t-shirt once told me, owls are assholes. I’m actually one of few who haven’t scene the Watchmen movie. I’m not a fanboy. Nor am I an ignorant newbie who only heard about Watchmen because of the movie. I actually have known about it since the original graphic novel came out in ’86 because it was right when I was into collecting comics. However, I never read it until two weeks ago. So either I’m really uncool or actually, immensely cool. I’m probably neither. Whatever level of cool vanilla or beige is, that’s how cool I am.
...which includes Brit model Alex Sim-Wise, actress Amber Heard, Colombian Carolina-Pampita Ardohain, newcomer to the show-your-bewb scene Cassie, South America’s Chachi Telesco & Claudia Fernandez, gorgeous model with an obnoxiously gross MySpace Cora Skinner, shapely TV host Denise Dumas, Ivana Saccani, another new British bewb show-er-off-er Kelly Andrews, French porn star Lucia Lapiedra, Madonna’s nipples – how unusual, Maria Jose Suarez, Melissa Keller, the poorly dressed Michelle Heaton, the backsides of Miriam Lanzoni, Monica Ayos and Nadia Jimenez, Argentina’s Natacha Jaitt, Nicollette Sheridan showing her kitty, Pamela Anderson showing her pizza topping, Australian So You Think You Can finalist Penny Higgs, Spain’s Pilar Rubio, the busty Ramona Cheorleu, the buttsy Rocio Guirao-Diaz, UK’s Sammy Braddy, Canadian actress Serinda Swan, Cassie’s newby bewby friend Silva, Portugal’s Teresa Villa Lobos, supermodel Tori Praver, Dutch actress Touriya Haoud, Uffie , model Ursula Mayes and some interesting unknowns who are into surfing slash tattoos.
As do her fellow colleagues in the occupation of posing for a pretty picture. The qualifications for getting such a gig include genetics, genetics and genetics. Actually, these are the qualifications for every job. The only difference would be that models require the specific gene that gives someone a long enough finger to hit the back of the throat.
The natives of the largest country in South America call their nation Brasil even though we know the correct name is actually Brazil. Why they insist on reversing the zed is beyond me. Maybe it’s because when you look at a zed from behind it looks like an s and we all know the Brazilians love to look at things from behind. Especially, their ladies. Ok, this I get but come on Brazil, start spelling your country correctly or I’m gonna have to come down there and... well, maybe stay a while and forget, or downright not give a shit about spelling anything correctly again if 51% of your population actually looks like the following...
Starting in Brazil with Alejandra Martinez who is yet another Big Brother contestant disrobing to lengthen their fame; then we go up to Sweden to check out that rather pretty fashion model Caroline Winberg; we now go way down to Australia to find model Dominique Le Toullec; then back up to Greece to say “Hello, how do you?” to Mara Darmousli; followed by us saying “Nice bum, where ya from?” to Maribel Fernandez in which she would reply “Argentina, thanks for asking.” and I would say, “That’s interesting but seriously, nice bum.”; and then after getting no where with Maribel, we stay in Argentina to gaze upon Natalia Botti but don’t engage in conversation with her having learned from past mistakes; afterwards, we try a trip to Spain and find Natalia La Casa de tu Vida who tired us out trying to pronounce her long name; then we slug back to South America to meet the Escudero sisters Silvina and Vanina; followed by another long trip to Italy to see Simona Salvemini and then finally, we lookup pop singer Uffie who’s American but only really famous in France, so we stay in Europe to ask her what the fuck is an Uffie?
Normally, the concept of girls in calendars is a well proven standard. It seems when looking at a calendar to check for an appointment followed by a quick glance at the same scantily clad or naked lady for a month is enjoyable to many. I get how Jennifer “Big Brother UK” Clark’s 2009 calendar offers that. She’s pretty and her poses are fairly office safe (which is slightly disappointing) but I get it. However, Zebco Sport Europe’s “Erotic Fishing Calendar” has me continuing my strong opinion that there is NOTHING sexy about fishing no matter how many naked women are doing it. This has been one of my firm beliefs since early childhood. I’ll give the people at Zebco credit for doing something somewhat original by combining bare nipples and slimy catfish but I will refuse to masturbate to it more than 12 times a year. 14 tops.
The country of Hungary has a name that only SOUNDS like the constant state of many North Americans, but in actuality, it is the home nation of a lady named Sylvi Bodi whose curves were probably given some help from a sandwich or two but just the right amount of help. For a smaller country, it has an oddly large attractive model population that’s been pouring on to the internets in the last few years. I’m still not understanding how Canada, which as a population 3 times that of Hungary’s, doesn’t have a significant publication showcasing its pretty lady population. Mmm, that seems like a project worth quitting my day job for...
Based on the great evidence of print media (as seen in their digitized versions below) Adriana Ferrari was/is a Brazilian beach volleyball player whose partner was Andrea and together they must have been pretty good at it. Note the gold-like medals. The year was 1997 which isn’t that long ago but in internet years, that was ages ago but not so long ago that this site wasn’t in existence. I figure if anything happened after the birth of this site, it wasn’t that long ago. So I went to do some research on Adriana to actually say something of a factoid nature for a change instead of writing whatever warped thoughts come to mind as I type. The strange thing is that my Googling skills could not find me any evidence that Adriana even existed beyond these nude photos of her. I could not find her amongst any names for Brazilian volleyball players of the past. Are my Googling skills that bad or am I even looking for the right Adriana? So instead, as I usually do, I will allow the photos of this rather attractive South American ball bashing sand hopper to speak for themselves.
Amongst a range of celebrity and a range of nudity, we find ourselves learning from the good people in England what the top 100 (200 if you count properly) sexiest boobs are this year. Every other boob in the world not on this list is less sexy than these ones. That is the point of this list. To teach you that THESE are the sexiest ones and all the others not as much. Got it? Good.
Not Since Grade 10 Social Studies have I known where Bulgaria is. Apparently, it’s still a country in Europe and I hear it’s doing fine. I’ll have to Google Earth it one of these days to see for myself, but better yet, I could take a look at some of their celebrity lady offerings and judge their entire nation by that. Yes, that sounds a lot easier than actual research. So judging by Neli Atanasova, Slavena Vytova, Vesela Toteva and Silvia, Bulgaria has a population of both blondes and brunettes. They enjoy spending time at the beach (day and night), have brightly lit bedrooms, decorate their offices with leather furniture all while oozing sexy sex appeal. Way to go Bulgaria.
Along with Michelle Williams’s latest nude scene in the film “Incendiary” we have an eclectic collection of actresses acting really really well without their clothes on. The nice thing about a site like this is that you don’t have to waste your precious life on watching some of these terrible (teen targeted) movies whose only redeeming values are the naked lady moments.
Like so many other attractive female twins before them, Brazil’s Dana and Nadia are sisters who seem to get away with being sexually suggestive with each other and no one is crying ince5t. This pictorial, like most twin themed pictorials, is fairly innocent and no laws have been really broken but you have to wonder how the obvious taboo of ince5t seems to be allowed or at least allowed to be implied when it comes to two, sometimes three attractive sisters. Being twins or triplets also appears to be the automatic get of jail for free card. It seems when Dana and Nadia roll around on each other in the bathtub, it’s ok, but if Angelina Jolie and her brother kiss on the lips, OH MY GOD JESUS WEPT! We are a complex and odd species.
Fashion slash supermodels Shannan Click and Paz de la Huerta are just doing ordinary supermodel things which are almost always done in the nude. That’s just the way supermodels are. It’s quite ordinary to them.
Argentina’s Camilla Velazco is seen here standing in the beam of a film projector. Along with the inconsiderate Talky Talkertons who seem to follow me to every theatre, jackasses who stand in front of the screen in a vegetative state mesmerized by the perdy moving light should either stay home or be allowed, by law, to be sterilized to ensure they don’t populate the Earth with more of their kind. However, Camilla here is displaying the one and only proper way to stand in front of a film projector. She also shows the correct response to being told to “get down in front.”
They have a flare with the English language, a taste for the ale and hankering for large lady boob. Not large ladies with boobs but large boobs on normal sized ladies. They are the British and without them, the world would be a lot less Englishy. Something to think about. Why? I don’t know. It just sounded interesting for a brief second. Here we have UK glam models Hayley Marie, Lucy Briggs, Nikkala Stott, Rhian Sugden, Sophie Howard and the once top fashion model turned prostitute Sophie Anderton. I’m beginning to think this whole model turned lady of the night happens a lot more than we’re aware of.
A gathering of recent and past celebrity paparazzi fodder ranging from bikini shots to Oops moments including very recent shots of French TV personality and rather attractive person Melissa Theuriau being well, you know, all French and sexy-like.
